Primitive Christianity Revived, Again
I tend to over-simplify things even though I do not live in a simple manner outwardly. My outward life is somewhat complex for a number of reasons that I have accepted as a tool that I am called to use for spiritual reasons. I did not reason my way to where I am; rather, I have found myself mindfully here at a place where it seems the Spirit has placed me. And the Spirit has ministered and comforted me in this place because it is not where I would choose to be if I were left to my own reasoning. This circumstance I find myself in outwardly for many years, has driven me spiritually to focus inwardly ever more intently. Had I used my reasoning and planning abilities, I would be in a different outward place than I find myself. I would have driven my being to a more simple outward manifestation. But the outward form of simplicity has not been mine to be experienced. Instead I have been driven to inward simplicity. Quaker form would have dictated that my outward life be simple. But I have chosen to listen to an inward Voice; and not the voice of Quaker advices and queries, nor passages written in any so-called Holy Book. I have known which was the True Voice by discerning which voice spurs me to experience and provide more Love and Light in my and others' being. That has been my True Guide.
I'm not sure if the prior paragraph makes any sense to you, my reader. But I offer it as background for the reality I've been shown regarding the place of outward forms. And I include "reasoning and planning" in those outward forms.
I have come to understand that they are all merely tools to be embraced or discarded without attachment. Used properly they are tools placed in our hands by our 'Source and Life' for the sole purpose of Loving more fully and for Lighting our being with the fullness of the Spirit. They are for God's purposes to bring others to that same state. "Others" may be just one person or they could be many. It is not for me to worry about it, plan it out, or monitor its outcome. I trust I will be guided at the right time what to do next.
I will attest to all that the more forms we attach to in our spiritual walk, the more 'lost' we are in danger of becoming. By "lost", I mean sidetracked from the direct absorption of Light manifested as a fullness in Love. I have found a 'sign' that sidetracking is occurring; and it is when my ego gets into gear. The ego is merely an absence of Love and Light at a given moment. If I am getting angry, anxious, or fearful it is of the ego and it is a moment of not operating from the Presence of Light. If I get prideful or enthralled with a compliment, again it is a moment of not operating from the Presence of Light. It is then time to take a deep breath, enter into silence, and pray for the 'Spirit of Truth' to enter my being to show me the way back to Love and Light.
During every moment of attaching onto a form, whether it be Quaker tradition, human reasoning and planning, Christianity, Quakerism, an obsession with Jesus, a label for God, whatever - I have ceased using that form as a temporary tool and have crossed into idolatry. Idolatry keeps us from seeing and seeking 'that of God' in others if they don't also bow down to our same idol. And I find myself in that idolatrous state many times in a single day. Idolatry is nothing more than an ego-attachment to an outward form instead of our spirit's attachment to our true Source. I think this is what the earliest Friends were speaking about when they were suspicious of "reasoning", because they knew how insidious our ego thoughts are as they seduce us into idolatry, and therefore away from 'Light and Love'.