Excerpt from Towards a Quaker View on Sex

Having been raised in an ethical household with the understanding that all affairs of the heart are loved by God, and that discrimination of any kind is unjust and the product of ignorance, my adolescents carried with it a dark oppressive cloud that felt confusion from the fact of having a same-sex orientation. In my eyes the present day marriage equality movement is the act of performing miracles in the line of service. Yet, I have this question, which is does this line of policy, and spirit of service fully acknowledge the  humanity, loving service and grace that was given by all of our mentors, when personal conflicts arose that were the result of having a same-sex preference. In response to peers, family and socialization, it is a fact that an undying love helped to project us from the darkness of internalized homophobia, and allow for the light of the spirit to rejoice in delight concerning the error in judgment about human relationships, and human behavior, which hail from the influence of naive bigotry, and that we have abandoned for higher and more praiseworthy aspirations.

I am sure I am not the only male gay or straight who has misinterpreted the influence of parents, role models and peers to be one that stigmatizes the reality of homosexual attraction. Yet if the prevalence of encountering loving relationships is universal to all it may  narcissistic to feel that this sexual preference is only normal in society. Surely we must live in a world that is inclusive of our private and secret desires, to come out in the open as a way of nourishing the soul.

In remembering a whole past of all those with whom I celebrate this gaiety, I would like to quote a passage from "Towards a Quakers View on Sex." Pg.22.

“There are indeed many single men to whom satisfaction of their more parental urge brings a more balanced life. Teachers, Religious Leaders, Good Employers and Commanding Officers, all of these and many others, whether married or not, are expressing the parental side of their nature in their daily work, and the way in which this satisfies some need of the unmarried passes unnoticed. A small minority are compensated homosexuals, and the homosexual in each one of us helps us in handling our own sex. When, as indeed it does often happen, a homosexual, consciously or unconsciously, uses his or her nature successfully in service or care, parental feelings are often also finding expression. The majority of single men and women lead happy lives of great fullness some accept their state others have chosen it.”

It is to this tapestry of homosexual relationships which carries like a gentle stream, and permeates our core to whom  I owe this lasting sentiment of gratitude.

Views: 248

Comment by Robben Wainer on 9th mo. 27, 2014 at 4:02am

Hello for those of you who are interested in the full text of Towards a Quaker View on Sex you can download it for free at this site:



You need to be a member of QuakerQuaker to add comments!

Join QuakerQuaker

Support Us

Did you know that QuakerQuaker is 100% reader supported? If you think this kind of outreach and conversation is important, please support it with a monthly subscription or one-time gift.

You can also make a one-time donation.

© 2020   Created by QuakerQuaker.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service