My heart of full of so much I want to say about my plain dress journey! And, of course, not much of it can be easily put into words! I guess what I want to share is how I feel I am being compelled by a hand pushing me from behind that will not leave me alone, and that I alternate between peace and fear, and that though I trust the hand I have never done anything in my life that is so hard!!
I am a controlling person, my husband nicknamed me "little Hitler", and I have always been the one in charge of my life. I have NEVER let anyone else direct my steps, nor the steps of all those I am responsible for (my large family). So the feeling of not really knowing why I am doing this is the most other-worldly feeling, and very scary!! Wow! Talk about learning to trust! I wrote a few weeks ago wondering what to say to others, but I really think that was about "what to say to myself"! Why would I do this? What am I trying to accomplish - I never do anything without a logical goal!
So here is where i am a month later:
1. I am getting used to not knowing why I am doing anything.
2. I am learning to take one day at a time.
3. I am now questioning just about all aspects of my life.
4. My children all LOVE my plain clothes and compliment them. (Really just my same dark long dresses with an added black snood and a brown apron)
5. I have never felt so much like ME! (I feel I was born to dress like this - was I last alive in the Middle Ages?)
6. I am being forced to question my fear and what it is about and face my lifelong desire to be like others and to impress and to please others.
7. I love Jesus.
8. I am re-discovering a vibrant living Quakerism that I thought didn't exist, after 20 years away.
9. Plain dress is beginning to feel normal.
I am so thankful to have found this group and look forward to learning from all of you.
Your sister in Christ,