“A Quaker Transgender Marriage”

By Robben Wainer

 

 

          On taking an in depth view of the faith restored to me by my Quaker upbringing, I would like to make a few observations, one being that the Quaker mission is to seek the truth, the second being that Quakers profess our love to be of God’s love, and to be a universal level. I see the pacification of these rites to be gender neutral, which in my case means gender non-conforming, by being a transvestite, and male to female transgender.

          Quaker love comes from a source of divine intervention that is a natural expression of the way we identify ourselves physically, spiritually and emotionally. I am proud to have been married in a Quaker service and to have been the bride of my wife Alix.

          I am a gay femme who is still male, and who in our disposition was the bride not only in a gay wedding ceremony, but a Quaker transgender wedding ceremony, as it goes we may be stretching our truths a bit far.

But to live in the light of Gods truth as it relates to Quaker truth, my growing up with girls and progressing to live my life as a woman raised certain precepts. That my wife’s love for homosexuals and homosexuality would prove to be unyielding, proved by far to be the most rewarding gift any wife of such a strong, voluptuous feminist could possibly redeem. At the ceremony Alix was asked if she would accept and receive me as her bride, while there was light chattering, a harmonious eternal flame was lit emanating from our gowns, that would last throughout our entire lives, and brought into our vision a real perception of a gay love between two consenting adults myself being transgender.

          Being transgender male to female and the wife of Alix a dear and loving woman has led me to many concepts concerning the issue that is implied that carries the question if transgender then why Quaker. As well as being LGBT friendly, I feel the effeminate quality of peace, love, compassion and understanding, contains a wisdom that is predisposed to male youth who are identified as pretty girls, my being a transgender male to female to me today means that I have no pronoun preference, and that I submit to my wife a holy spirit that brings me in touch with God, and a love universal that is realized by all men and women who are gay or lesbian, which to me means being a femme who in private knows that she is lesbian in her heart.

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Comment by David McKay on 3rd mo. 26, 2016 at 4:15pm

I am acutely aware that I lack the frame of reference to say anything meaningful here other than to wish you well in your marriage. There is a Quaker advice (William Penn I believe) that we seek to know one another in that which is eternal. I hope the particulars of your love become and remain signposts for you of that which is eternal. And that your marriage, and the welcoming acceptance of your marriage in a community of faith such as a Quaker meeting, might be a sign of what love can do.

Comment by Robben Wainer on 3rd mo. 26, 2016 at 11:05pm

Thank you so much it is your intentions that count the most.

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