Comment by Ken Baxter on 6th mo. 11, 2012 at 12:22am

Just an observation. Just because 'a light has gone out' does not mean Light no longer exists. I spent a long time without any faith of any kind because of anger and expecting humans to be perfect. Eventually, events and life moved me past that and I am glad it did. Give yourself time to heal and value yourself that you deserve to. I know some Quakers do want to define exactly who is and who isn't a Quaker. Personally, I'm not sure that is very important. Do you feel you're still a Quaker??

Comment by Mary Linda on 6th mo. 11, 2012 at 4:22pm

When you sit in prayer with this, what do you think God is telling you? Is there anyone you trust to hold this with you? 

with tenderness,

Mary Linda

Comment by Howard Brod on 6th mo. 12, 2012 at 12:33am

I suggest that you refrain from blaming your whole meeting for the unquakerly actions of one person. I think you should request a clearness committee from the care committee at your meeting, so you can explore the emotions welling up in you. Please don't allow yourself to be victimized by the unkind comments of this person. You need and deserve the healing of worship to process what you've been through.

Comment by Joanna Hoyt on 6th mo. 12, 2012 at 10:29am

Have you read Sandra Cronk's book Dark Night Journey? I've found it of help when I was dry and bitter and disappointed. 

Sometimes I fret about whether or not I am a Quaker, and sometimes I decide just to get on with following God as best I can figure it out and never mind the labels. (Not that I don't grouse a lot at God...)

Comment by keely showalter on 6th mo. 14, 2012 at 9:03am

MY computer is acting up. I just wanted to share an experience. Upon reading about Jesus' s law of love I thought the purpose of forgiveness and truth was about affecting change in those around us....and to some extent I think it is. But I recently learner that it is also about maintaining a clean and joyous heart. When I feel rejected or betrayed my whole being is swallowed up with anger mistrust and bitterness. It is very difficult I know. But when I realize that all I have is a gift that I am a steward of and I am no more deserving of it than anyone else...when I remember that I to have wronged others and know one is perfect but our Lord...I remember that is where my ultimate trust and dependence must lay. People and things will invariably let you down.
My heart's cry is this. The injustice of your tribunal and rejection you feel are surely very painful. There is nothing wrong with taking time to mourn. But God is right there with you. Perhaps the roar of your own heart makes it difficult to hear? Can you forgive? (Sometimes it helps me to read about the experiences of others. It puts my situation in a more objective light. Ever read about Corie Ten Boom?)
May you find sweet peace and divine direction.

Comment by Alice M Yaxley on 6th mo. 14, 2012 at 4:34pm

I think it's hard for some people to face up to the reality of the cross, in every church or meeting. You have encountered the reality of the cross - the world does not love truth, there are many people who do not love God or rightness, who will not show mercy where God would wish they would. If we make a decent attempt at following Jesus we might well get punished for it by the worlds' powers. A fellowship of believers can be a great comfort, and a fellowship of folks who shun the cross can be an added burden for a struggling christian! I just wanted to reach out to you in love. The world is often very hard on those who do right. I have found a loving power who stands with me in my suffering, who mourns with me and who keeps uncovering hope for me. Hoping you can find your way again to the springs of life.

Comment by Ray White on 6th mo. 15, 2012 at 4:53pm

Spiritual dry times happens to all of us.  It's easy for us to get discouraged.....we don't have some of the "trappings" other faith traditions have to 'get lost" in...or "focus on" when our own sense of Spirit is diminished.  We don't light candles...we could.....but don't....we could light incense....we could...but don't....we could say a prayer of wine and bread.....we could...but don't.....OUR witness is that while these things CAN and ARE to many vehicles of the Light....our "way" is not found in the "outward forms".....so sometimes...we get tired.....sometimes we get lonely...especiallin Meeting at times. 

 

I went on a "cross coutry" trip with a Friend friend of mine....I was telling him about my own spiritual dryness and how it seemed my prayers went no higher than the ceiling...and I could not sense the Light as I sought to "enter into the Presence" in Meeting.....he listened as I bemoaned my spiritual state....very quietly he recited..."He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." Ps 91:1.

He went on to say that sometimes in our Jouney...we move into the "Shadow of God"...and lose sight of Him....not because He is so far away...but because He is so very Near we are ecliped in His Shadow.

I Remember these days of my "dry times".....I am in His Shadow.....a good place to be.

 

Comment by James C Schultz on 6th mo. 15, 2012 at 7:12pm

It doesn't matter if you are still a Quaker.  What matters is that you lost your peace.  Get it back.  That's the important thing.  Otherwise you will be tossed about. 

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