Hello, Friends.   I’ve written a new book that may interest you.  Friendly Leadership is now available. You can  read more about it, and order copies at:   https://www.amazon.com/Friendly-Leadership-…

Hello, Friends.


I’ve written a new book that may interest you.  Friendly Leadership is now available. You can  read more about it, and order copies at:   https://www.amazon.com/Friendly-Leadership-Humanely-Influencing-Oth....    


If you have an "unlimited" Kindle subscription , there is a “free” version.


All the best,


Donn Weinholtz

Hartford Monthly Meeting

New England Yearly Meeting


Views: 59

Comment by Jonathan Pilgrim on 9th mo. 21, 2022 at 9:56pm

I'm somewhat of a leadership book junkie. 

Can you summarize in a paragraph or two?

Comment by Donn Weinholtz on 9th mo. 22, 2022 at 11:59am

Final Thoughts:  Putting It All Together

“It took me a lifetime.” - Pablo Picasso


              I began this volume by drawing parallels between Friendly Leadership and  Servant Leadership, and frankly acknowledging that becoming an effective servant leader is a prolonged challenge.  Indeed, developing one’s leadership skills, under any circumstances, is a life-long endeavor. However, the good news is that we will always be presented with opportunities to learn; and if we come up short,  we can benefit from our mistakes. So, we can always become better leaders, if we are willing to try.

              In spite of its brevity, this volume provides you with more than enough insights to fuel your leadership development for years to come.  If you can successfully blend these lessons into your behavioral repertoire, you will become a more skillful leader.  So remember:

1)   Effective leadership requires adeptly communicating; which often includes  active listening,  assertiveness ( I-messages) and  win-win problem solving. Skillful communication not only helps you to prevent unnecessary conflict, it is also crucial to resolving challenging impasses when they arise.  Recognize that implicit biases often come into play, making smooth communication more difficult.


2)      Being alert to the group dynamics presented in Chapter 2 (group diversity, goals, roles, attraction patterns, interaction patterns, norms, size, orientation-evaluation-control phases, group development stages, and risky shifts) is very helpful. And addressing group inclusion and equity challenges, while striking the balance between the appropriate focus on task behavior and the right emphasis on relationship behavior are essential, recurring leadership challenges. Effective leadership involves an ongoing dance between making demands and providing support, with supportiveness playing a greater role over time. Hersey and Blanchard’s Situational Leadership Theory lays this out as clearly as any model. 


3)      Homans’ six propositions provide a powerful tool for analyzing group social exchanges. In particular, Proposition #5 explains why people become so upset when they are ambushed (unexpectedly denied rewards.)  Also, remember that what - at first glance – appears to you  like irrational behavior is often quite rational to those behaving in such a manner, given their expectations of success and their assignment of values to particular rewards.


4)      When you find yourself in a situation where someone feels that you have ambushed them, take a deep breath and try to avoid scolding the person.  Listen, listen, and listen some more; share deliberately; and seek a win-win solution.


5)      You don’t have to hold a management position in order to demonstrate effective leadership.  Catalytic leadership, in particular, demonstrates how simply being in a position to pull together diverse allies, engaging in creative problem-solving, developing a shared vision, and being persistent can help people resolve difficult challenges.


6)     Ethics are crucial. Always strive to do what is morally correct; but because the moral path is sometimes not apparent, remember that Rion’s questions may help. They are:            

Why is this bothering me

Who else matters?

Is it my problem?

What is the ethical concern?

What do others think?

Am I being true to myself


         Losing your moral compass has serious consequences because group members watch leaders carefully, and ethical lapses quickly undermine the trust necessary to sustain productive groups and organizations.  While leadership expectations vary across cultures and sub-cultures, integrity is universally valued. 

                  May you maintain your integrity throughout your leadership journeys, wherever they take you.  

 Note:  There is also an appendix on leading discussions on Zoom.


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