Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Wee Dragon on 8th mo. 6, 2009 at 8:13am

I can relate to the feeling of needing to attend to one child while the other two get kind of left to fend for themselves...I have three little ones, and I stay home with them full-time. I try to remember that it will never be perfect, and that just because things appear to be "falling apart" doesn't mean that I am doing something wrong, or even need to change anything. It just is.

I used to be the head teacher of a school for children with severe behavior problems...and the behaviour you described was par for the course for pretty much every student we had. So many of them seemed so damaged, with all of the learning disabilities, delays, etc...that come along with a troubled beginning in life. I often wondered how any of them would function as grown-ups. Well, through the magic of facebook, a few of them have found me, and all appear to be fully-functioning, active and energetic young adults! One joined the military, and just returned from a tour of duty. Another is going to college. Another, despite going through gender reassignment throughout adolescence after a very troubled childhood (that's a lot of stress, changes and social stigmas!)...seems to be one of the most open, loving and functional people you could imagine.....I remember having to hold her in "therapeutic hold", while her eyes would glaze over and she would swear, thrash, etc.... Now HE writes beautiful poetry and lyrics to songs...write loving notes to his friends..lives on his own and is working.

It sounds like your little guys might need a one on one situation. I am surprised the foster care system does not offer in-home respite care for children with severe behavioural challenges. The school I worked at used to send "counselors" into homes to spend time with the kids, etc... many of them foster homes. I know that's advice, but just in case there might be some avenues that you could pursue service-wise that you haven't thought of, or haven;t been offered to you...feel free to PM me to see if there is something I know about where you could get some literal physical support. There are a lot of "hidden services" in that big web of public schools, foster care system, DHS, etc...

Rebecca

Permalink Reply by Frances Laing on 8th mo. 7, 2009 at 4:22am

I feel over distance I can't say a lot that would help, but am holding you in the light. Hang in there, sounds like you're doing a grand job.
In Friendship
Frances