I'm currently reading (just finishing up) Getting Off - Pornography and the End of Masculinity by Robert Jensen.
And wanted to share some quotes:
"The radical feminist critique asks men to begin a process that will: (1) hurt, (2) leave you at various points uncertain about how to act, (3) lead to making mistakes for which you will be critiqued and, (4) never end. That's a sales pitch that lacks a certain appeal in a self-indulgent culture of immediate gratification. On top of that, because men are generally in a position of privilege and at this moment there's no strong feminist movement to press these issues, it's extremely easy for men to ignore it all."
"I am against pornography in part because I believe that the rewards of domination, which are seductive, are in the end illusory. I believe that love (based on a commitment to equality articulated in our core philosophies and theologies), compassion (based on our common humanity), and solidarity (based on our need to survive together can anchor our lives at every level, from the intimate to the global.
I have experienced that intimacy. Once experienced, it's difficult to return to the illusory."
I am not presenting this to start a discussion on pornography (though that could be a worthwhile endeavor) - but because it seems to me to speak to the situation that those in the "oppressor" class find themselves in. This is a man writing about sexism. And reading him I find that I am somewhat "grateful" as a woman that he gives a shit, but I am more interested as a white person, an American, an educated/middle class person, about how much it speaks to my experience of how easy it is to sort of turn a blind eye to inequalities where I get a bigger piece of the pie, how hard it is to face them, and yet, how empty it is. In the long run for my soul to be whole I must face them, and give up being "in control" for being unsure, vulnerable to criticism, etc, NOT because I'm so nice, but because I can't be whole any other way.