Hello Barbara, I have been dressing in plain dress now for five years and still I have good days and bad days. I recently attendid my sons wedding out of state and the mother of the bride would not hear of me wearing plain dress. She brought over many of her dresses for me to try on, her reason was that I should not be the center of attention but the bride. Since that experience I have been questiioning my reasons for dressing plain.  This same woman badgered my husband to get him to say that he would rather me dress sexy rather than in plain dress, my husband ended up saying what she wanted to hear just to get rid of her. I have been really praying that God would give me peace about dressing plain as I am getting very tired of having to defend myself against society. 

Views: 306

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hello, Wanda!

I hope the bride turns out to be more tolerant than her mother!  Having someone push one around is never pleasant.  I would have told the bride's mother "thank you for your concern, but I prefer to make my own choices about my attire."

Bill Rushby

Ugh, that sucks! One of my friends was forced into a colorful (gasp!) brides maid dress for her sister's wedding. As this woman is a ninja (no, really, I'm completely serious about that), she wears clothing that's good for agility at all times...usually black combat boots, black trousers, and a black tank top. Her family took bets on how long she'd stay in the dress once the photos were over. Answer: less than 5 minutes. She sprinted from the photo area to a room where her clothes were stashed. She was very confused by her stepmother, who bet on an hour. Her dad won.

I wouldn't be as civil as William in telling someone to knock it off about my clothing and/or shoe choices (some people really object to sensible shoes in any situation where non-Plain women wear dresses). I'd only require two words, and one of them would rhyme with "duck."

She sounds threatened by your peace.

A friend of mine, mother of the groom, was asked by the bride's mother to cut her long, lovely hair for the wedding "because women in their 50s shouldn't have long hair." She did not cut it, I am glad to say. I can't imagine having the nerve to say something so self-serving to anyone.

Living plain is not meant to be easy. Nothing we do that answers God's call is meant to be easy. It is meant to be faithful, and easy or hard just don't enter into it. I have to say, with humility, that I have learned more from the times when it was harder to be faithful. The rewards in a deeper relationship with God have been worth it.

I figure it this way: there are days I need the kind of faith that can hold its own during the rough spots. The only way to have that kind of faith, is to remain faithful during the rough spots. Circular reasoning, I guess, but you know what I mean.

Your son's new mother-in-law should have been too polite to notice what you were wearing. Instead, you were treated with shocking rudeness and a total lack of hospitality. What an unfortunate episode. Perhaps when she has had time to reflect on her treatment of you and your husband it will dawn on her that this was rude, and perhaps not. Many people are so focused on the outward appearance and the superficial that they cannot see what they are doing to a person by degrading them on account of such things. What can one do except to smile, love, forgive, and pray for this person?

I wish you peace in your walk with Christ.

Reply to Discussion

RSS

Support Us

Did you know that QuakerQuaker is 100% reader supported? If you think this kind of outreach and conversation is important, please support it with a monthly subscription or one-time gift.


You can also make a one-time donation.

Latest Activity

Kirby Urner posted a video

Promised Land

In the School of Tomorrow, we learn how to think globally before acting locally. Here's a link to the 'Tower of Babel' video I mention in passing: http://www...
3rd day (Tue)
Windy Cooler posted a video

Releasing Ministry Alliance Opps 1 Under the Care of final

“Under the Care of” July 10, 2019 8-9 pm Eastern time What does holding a ministry “under the care of” a meeting entail? Sandy Spring Monthly Meeting (Baltim...
2nd day (Mon)
Keith Saylor posted a blog post

A Different ministration of Life in relation to others.

I am encouraged and grateful my research into early Quakers is revealing many people within the…See More
7th day (Sat)
Kirby Urner posted a video

Happy Birthday Bucky

July 12 is Buckminster Fuller's birthday. Here's a "Quaker rant" to celebrate.
7th month 13
Windy Cooler updated their profile
7th month 11
Windy Cooler posted photos
7th month 11
Kirby Urner posted a blog post

A Patriotic Speech

I mention my Quaker ethnicity in this one. I'm sharing my sense of history. For related videos,…See More
7th month 9
Kirby Urner commented on Kirby Urner's blog post 'Journaling a Departure'
"I mention leaving the Facebook group somewhat obliquely in this video below, in which I share about…"
7th month 8

© 2019   Created by QuakerQuaker.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service